Ants, Ants, Ants

Sometimes my guidance is very very clear. Sometimes not so much. Numerous times I have been asked to teach people ‘how to connect to their guides’. My left brain does what it always does which is to search for a linear, logical methodology. I asked my mentor if I could take her ‘meet your guide class’ so I could learn how she does it. She told me I could but I do not need it. That I was/am totally capable of letting my right brain flow into that space I call ‘The Black Velvet Void Teaming with All There Is’. Still, my fear and insecurities of not doing it perfectly overcame all her positive reinforcements. I am taking her class. The following is part of my experience from her first class, “Meet your Earth and Spirit Guides”

“EARTH GUIDE” – what I perceived and experienced:

First Bear met me. Which I thought: okay I know you are my guide, so what are we going to do now and for the rest of the guided meditation? (Yeah, Ms. Know It All).

Bear (grizzly) calmly walks across the meadow fully expecting me to follow. So I do. As she nears the tree line she drops to all four feet at a dead, decaying tree trunk/tree stump. She rakes the ground beneath the tree, with very long big powerful claws, and rolls the tree away. Beneath the tree where she has disturbed the soil numerous grubs/insects are dining on the decay. I’m grossed out and try to understand. A Walt Disney educational type voice speaks “These are the decomposers, without them, there would be no …something”. I can’t remember whether the voice said “Life, or rebirth, or something else”. I think I heard Life.

Bear took another swipe with her powerful ‘talons’ (anatomical incorrect, but that’s the visual I felt.) ANTS, Hundred of ants. Soon I am standing in front of the Queen Ant. I know she is the Queen because there is a throne behind her. She is standing upright. She is at least 6 ft tall. Her head is above mine. She tells me a lot of things. One is that she has been trying to get my attention.  {an aside here: she did get my attention but not my understanding: Since I have moved into this new apartment in early Nov, I have had to contend with ant invasions. Besides learning to keep the kitchen neurotically clean; I have looked up what ants mean, I have felt into what ants mean, I have asked what do ants mean. None of the answers seem exactly right. A little correct but not what I was to learn. Example Evidently someone at my weekend class put food in the trash instead of the compost bin. In the morning I opened the closet where the wastebasket is and 1000’s of ants were covering the wastebasket. Yes I sprayed them with Lysol and killed them.}

She’s telling me to clean my antenna by showing me as she cleans her antenna, also she’s continuing moving her head around, in a very odd elliptical movement. I start moving my head in as similar way as I can. My neck pops 2 or 3 times and feels better. I see her body is in three parts and am given some understanding as to why it’s built that way.  It gives her greater mobility, traction, to maneuver into and through crevices and tight spaces by twisting and turning where a straight body cannot go. It also helps in the ability to carry loads 100s of times her weight. (Somewhere during this part I felt something on my Left hand I looked and there was one of those small ants walking all over my hand. Coincident NOT!!)

Somewhere in this “discussion”, she showed me how ingenious ants are at engineering the construction of their tunnels and homes. How each grain of soil is assessed in its ability to create or maintain the tunnel or whether it’s best used at the doorway to “slide” the invader off the doorway. I felt the cohesion of “teams” of ants doing their part in constructing a perfect environment for their family.

At this time the class was directed to drop our hearts into wherever in our bodies and open the door that shows up. I believe I dropped my heart into my womb. The Queen’s abdomen opened up like a door. I was invited in.

OMG! There was one ant crawling over lots of eggs. Tending to them, loving caring for their every need; rotating them, adding nutrients to their food, moving them to a better position, stroking them, loving them. She conveyed to me that her whole body was a receiving mechanism designed to read the needs of the brood. Every hair (my interpretation), ever skin cell, each part of her feet, head and antenna told her what her next move was to be. There was no part of her that was not ALWAYS receiving input about the brood and she was also ALWAYS transmitting her information to the other brood caregivers and receiving theirs. I got a panorama view of the brood chambers and saw a lot, a whole lot of brood caregivers.

Then my mentor said to look around and find our gift. I’m looking around and of course, can’t find a thing. Then I notice a line of brood caregivers is transferring a “brood-sack” towards me. They are transporting it high above their heads in great solemnness and reverence. I am handed this “brood-sack”. I hold it a while not know what to do with it. It starts to move and shake a little.

I feel the caregiver ants get excited and joyful. Then a “larva” emerges. It is white on the underside, the top side is patterned with black stripes creating an almost solid black back. The sides are black and white stripped form. The ants are ecstatic. I’m dumbfounded. WTF! Not the type of gift I was expecting. But then I realize (the ants told me) that this “larva” is the true me that I buried when I was a very small child. What greater gift could I have received?

They leave me with this invocation:
“Dear One, We have come to bring you your gift, Your birthright. This has nothing to do with your learning, your desire or your station in life. It is your birthright …”

After that, I have no conscious recollection.

Hours and days later I now have some understanding of the whole scene. I’ve put my understanding into words as best I can:

  1. My whole body is my psychic receiver and transmitter. Which is why so many people tell me I have big energy and it does scare off a lot of people.
  2. I need to assess all my resources to know each one’s best use.
  3. So many of us “killed, buried, maimed or gave away” our vulnerable emotional, intuitive and psychic selves so that we could survive the physical life. There is a space, a realm, a holy place where this part of ourselves goes and is tenderly cared for, until that time when we are ready to regain all that we “gave away” in order to fit in with our families of origins, our social and economic peers, etc. When we are strong enough the “caregiver ants” give that small being back to us so that we can nurture and care for it. Then we can merge with it and become whole and complete.
  4. At this time I am a partner with those “the caregiver ants”. My assignment is to nurture the human as it tenderly cares for and nurtures the “larva” until both are ready to merge with each other.

Speak Your Mind